We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
