i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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