Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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