lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
