Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
