try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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