Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Porn is love you can see.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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