Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
