Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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