i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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