is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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