Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do vagina's smell?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
