Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Couch. On fire.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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