This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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