His apartment number was 69. I had to.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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