do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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