I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
