hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
