you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
