i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
