I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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