I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
