Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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