Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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