Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
