stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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