Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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