Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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