Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
