He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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