Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
