im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
