The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
