There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
