So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
