genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I woke up under a house in Key West
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