I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
