The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
