So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
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