So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
