did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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