I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
