i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
