Nicole vs. Life
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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