Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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