yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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