Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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