Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
