oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Oh god it's open bar.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
