The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
