you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
