i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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