you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize