what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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