i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize