party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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