I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i now understand why vodka
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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