member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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